A Sobering Reality recap! Whitney says watching Ashley give birth makes her think "I could do this!" Holy FUCK, she would be the worst delivering mom of all time. It is physically challenging, she knows that, right? Whit says she'd need to go to the sperm bank. She'd need to drop $20K on IVF since she doesn't ovulate, and at her weight no fertility clinic would touch her, so nobody panic, gang - this will not actually happen.They visit the baby at the hospital and Todd is just amazing around the baby, actually. No wonder Whitney wants HIS sperm instead of Tal's. Later Tal and Heather take Whitney out for a "jog" (Whitney is waddling while moving her arms, and Tal and Heather are walking at a moderate pace). They talk about how seriously Whitney takes her event training and I snort in disagreement. An extremely tiny hill makes Whit gasp for breath and remove her shirt in public while complaining about all the things that hurt. Trainer tip: you can tell how in- or out of-shape someone is by how long it takes them to recover, and Whitney takes FOREVER to breathe normally again after an effort. They go on a swing set and Whitney screams like she might actually die. Calm your tits, woman.
They send the pig to a farm and I do not give one single shit about this scene, except to point out how odd it is that Whitney tapes the pig's exit on her phone despite there being a fucking professional camera crew filming all of this. Babs: "Piggy will do well. I'm just not so sure about all of us." In case you were wondering where Whit got her penchant for over-the-top melodrama. "Oh, FOR FUCK'S SAKE," I actually yell out loud while these fools are sobbing about this damn pig. Whit takes Babs shopping and Whitney has a rash in her nether-regions from sweating and chub rub. And probably not being able to clean properly, let's be real. Whit encourages her mother to wear slutty see-through clothes and then acts scandalized when Babs says she used to wear thongs. GROW UP. Whitney hyperbolically says that Babs looks "20 [years old]" in the store's tops. I snort again.
Glenn has a Hawaii Trip Binder (HTB) and the very existence of the HTB is stressing Whitney out. I personally love the HTB. I have a Spartan Obstacles Binder and I fill it in with techniques and training tips for completing the various challenges. Whitney is baffled that she will have to work out in Hawaii for the race in Hawaii. It's called "acclimation," you stupid cow. It is also telling that she is upset about having to exercise when she used to claim she was in such great shape and could dance forever and do Will's workouts. She has totally given up the charade.
Whit and Heather drive to the rehab center and Whitney says it will be the first time in a year that they've seen Sober Buddy. So she had no idea he was an addict, yet knows he's been getting high for a year? Sure, Jan. I guarantee he did drugs right in front of Whitney's face, and she probably joined him more than once. Cameras aren't allowed at rehab so we are treated to Whitney's description of the events, which, we all know how accurately she recalls things. We find out from Buddy that his family had an intervention for him and that made him go to rehab. All I can say is I hope he makes amends with Kerryn Feehan for telling her to "go have a drink" at the reunion special a couple seasons back.
Whitney plans a welcome-home party for Buddy and gets rid of the booze in the fridge, which includes Michelob Ultra. I am frankly shocked that Whitney drinks low-carb beer. Buddy calls and tells her he's staying 6 more weeks. The "welcome home" banner falls off the wall, hilariously, at that moment. Tal and Heather look horrified by this development, but I think it's great that Buddy has the self-awareness to realize he needs more help. He mentions that he hopes he can share some of his treatment methods with Whitney (who is obviously addicted as well). I will say, Buddy sounds so much less slurred than he used to. I can actually understand him without subtitles. I wish him the best in his recovery. But seriously. message Kerryn and apologize, you dick.
Edited February 14, 2018 by ClareWalkstypo
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