13 hours ago, Spartan Girl said:
I HATED THAT TOO. The whole reason behind the smear campaign of Anne of Cleve's being called ugly was to cover for Henry VIII being impotent and that Anne couldn't stand him because he was an ugly fat old man. Having them have post breakup sex was just too much, even for this show. Stupid writers and JRM's vanity.
Good lord, did Hirst really give into Meyers' demands? I mean, he wasn't that big a star, was he? All I know is he did Bend it Like Beckham before this series. And I think he played a young Elvis in an ABC mini-series. I'm too lazy to look, but I don't know if it was after this series ended or before. No fat suit, changing history because...well aside from Hirst's own reasons, blah, blah, blah. Bad enough that they got rid of one sister, Margaret, and changing her only surviving son, James V, who Henry fought with, to being his "cousin" when in fact, he was his fucking NEPHEW!
Ahem.
So, I just breezed through the final and horrible season, even if the finale made me teary (more on that below), while grumbling at all the wasted opportunities. I fast forwarded through all the sex scenes with Katherine and Thomas (BLECH) 🤢and stuff that didn't have dialogue, and yes, even the rape scene, because of course, we can't have a period piece without having at least one rape scene! (insert sarcasm here). For one, how did the historians know about this, I was wondering, as it unfolded? He and his "pals" weren't going to brag about it. It was when I went to one site ((the boleyn files) which is sooooooo slanted it's not even funny, and the commentators act as if they PERSONALLY knew Anne Boleyn, Katherine Howard, et al., and how Katherine was just a victim who was used, abused and scapegoated, despite EVIDENCE of love letters to Culpepper), that I learned that after Culpepper was executed, someone from the same parish? where he'd raped that woman and killed her husband (the person referred to him as a neighbor/farmer--really?) witnessed the execution and informed her? And all these people are saying how BEAUTIFUL both Anne Boleyn and Katherine Howard were. Really? Every single painting I've seen of all the wives and these two, they all look like they are 20 years older than they're supposed to be and all look the fucking same. And are FUGLY. There, I said it. Since Hirst was playing willy/nilly, fast and loose with history and accuracy, I don't know why he couldn't have had the woman witness his execution and her face be the last he saw before his head got chopped off. But, I'm getting ahead of myself.
FIRST, Katherine, historically, and there is documentation of this, was Anne of Cleve's maid of honor--and that's where she caught Henry's eye. She wasn't found by one-eyed dude and Sir Thomas at the Dowager Duchess Norfolk's home as someone "different" to get Henry a woman, after annulling his marriage to Anne. And it was during that time, that she and Culpepper supposedly started a relationship.
But instead, we get a Culpepper, someone we hadn't seen in the past two seasons at all--when he would have been Henry's groom, suddenly show up, and act more like an obsessive stalker, watching every move of Katherine's. That's real love there, folks. 16th Century Style! And showing up to spend time with the Queen as if he had every right to do so.
Then Katherine's former lover, Frances Dereham shows up, and Good GOD, maybe in the 19th and 20th century he could get away with shit talking he did, and the presumptuous behavior, but not in fucking 1540! That NO ONE reported his treasonous words (because that kind of talk was treasonous) to the King was so fucking unbelievable.
But Katherine. Good God almighty. I get it; she was young. A teenager. But even for a teenager in that era, she would have been taught how to act and know who she was marrying. Instead, we get someone who acts like a ditzy, corn for brains 10 year-old MORON, playing dress up, instead of someone who should know how to behave in public, at least. She was Anne Boleyn's FIRST cousin and should have KNOWN BETTER. And throwing tantrums because Princess Mary didn't like her, or give her the respect she thought she deserved. Clearly she wasn't an idiot when it came to knowing how to prevent pregnancies. Or how to keep her affair with Culpepper a secret. The first half of this season was just wasted on so much frivolity and nonsense.
So glad when it finally ended. But I did watch through my fingers when Dereham was tortured, because that was gross. And both his and Culpepper's heads were on the London Bridge for nearly 5 years! YUCK. And despite the dramatic words, Katherine never said that she was dying as a Queen and would have much preferred to die as Culpepper's wife. And she was religious, despite how in show, she told the priest she wasn't. And historically, she was killed before Lady Rochford, but of course, this is television, so more dramatic to have Lady Rochford executed first, so we could see her bowels loosen--well, that she "peed in her pants" so to speak.
I suppose it was the fact that Anne lost a son that Henry was quick to believe all the lies about her and condemn her to death. Because with Katherine, he demanded PROOF first.
After that, I mostly zipped through the last four episodes, after Catherine Parr was introduced. Wonder if Joely Richardson demanded that she be credited as "special guest star" instead of just her name in the opening credits? Anyhoo, I'm going to see if how she was portrayed on the show is how she was--you know, in love with Thomas Seymour, but thwarted from marrying him once Henry set his sights on her; if there was a conspiracy to kill her for her "heretic" beliefs.
I really, really, really hate bishop Gardiner. It would be another 10 years before he gets his own head lopped off.
And that's another thing the show did that confused the heck out of me. Henry cut ties with Rome; he wanted to wipe out Catholicism, right? So his writing his own six Articles of Laws regarding religion were...Protestant, right? But I know some of them had Catholic measures, so it seemed it was an amalgamation of both. Yet, yet, yet. Gardiner and Rich acted as if Catholicism was the religion Henry wanted, but it wasn't! Yet Henry gave that asshole leave to question torture "heretics" who were clearly Protestants (what?) and kill them. Conversely, it made more sense, when Cromwell did it, because Henry wanted to wipe out Catholicism. Who did Henry think Gardiner was torturing and then him agreeing to have them executed? It was all so contradictory. Because we know that Rich and Gardiner were papists still. Huh? I admit, I'm ignorant when it comes to trying to figure out what was going on. Unless it was Lutheran Protestants who were considered heretics? Not just "regular" Protestants? And then we get Henry talking to all priests and bishops, some of whom are Catholics. What the what, now?
And Lord Surrey gets executed offscreen? How'd he get to be so speshial?
And then the quick change in Princess Mary's character. Guess her Catholic piety was so strong, she would turn against people she considered friends. Like Queen Catherine. It would have been helpful if we'd had tags to show the passage of time for this to have happened, because one minute she's confiding in her stepmother, is shown to be good friends with her, and then poof! She's a "heretic" so she must die. And because it's the end of the final season, Hirst MUST sow the seeds of how she'll be known as "Bloody Mary." Whatever. Wonder if Sarah would have been willing to wear a fat suit, had Hirst decided to do a series on Mary? Because in later years, she got fat, finally married at age 37, and then thought she was pregnant when she wasn't. And really, she was portrayed as a FUGLY woman in Elizabeth--one who didn't believe in taking care of her teeth. (shudder). But I suppose that was...realistic?
And of COURSE Brandon died before Henry in show. Of course he did, even though historically, Brandon died four years AFTER Henry had. On one hand, I was peeved, because I didn't expect it; on the other, well, at least we got to say good-bye, though I wish his son Henry would have acknowledged Brigitte at his father's funeral, even if his cold fish of a mother was acting like a grieving widow who loved her husband. Which, in show, we were shown and told, she was not. Stupid Cow.
But I will give credit to Meyers--I didn't even recognize his voice in the second to last episode--the low, gravelly, gruff voice of Henry in ill health. Kudos. I guess wearing all those huge robes was his concession/substitute for a fat suit?
I did like the paintings that Holbein did of Henry--both of them. Or rather, whoever did the paintings. Great job of putting Meyers' face in there. Though the body was still on the slim side. And Meyers should have kept his moustache.
And boy, was Catherine smart. The way she told Henry she looked to him to guide her, (if it happened) saved her neck. I loved Henry calling Risley a "knave" and kicking him out! Made me laugh my ass off.🤣😂 Now I know why he told his groom "why?" when said groom asked if he should tell Gardiner to cancel the arrest warrant for the Queen. And how he refused to see Gardiner and ordered him out of his court. But we know he'll return when Mary becomes Queen.
And while I loved seeing Natalie Dormer back for the finale, I was NOT a fan of Henry seeing her or Catherine or Jane's ghosts. Like that narcissistic, self-absorbed, megalomaniac TYRANT would feel love or guilt about anyone or anything. And I ESPECIALLY didn't care for Jane's "Oh my poor, poor boy!" as if Edward contracting TB was HENRY'S fault. I didn't like the choice of making her bitter and angry at Henry, fortelling him that Edward would die young. The tag at the end was more than sufficient. But...DRAMA! I guess. I really thought we'd see Henry die in bed like he did, or however he died, instead of getting that tag as he walked away from the second painting Holbein had completed. But I did like the montage from the beginning with Brandon and the jousting, to all his exploits and wives and emotional beats.
Really, the first two seasons were the best. If Hirst could have pulled his head out of his own ass, and actually tried to do more things that actually happened, because there is documentation of a LOT we didn't see and do know about, this could have been a better show in the last two seasons, and especially the last couple of episodes.
I'm sure I missed some stuff I wanted to say, but this is all I can remember this morning. I'm sure I'll fill in other stuff later.
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